if i had sex in the shower i’d probably slip and die
perk of dating me: i have no social life so we can hang out whenever it’s convenient for you
On a scale from Will Smith to Amanda Bynes how much have you changed in the past 10 years
nothing annoys me more than when i try to switch tabs and i accidentally drag that tab to make a new window
like why you gotta be like that man
“i need to lose weight” i say as i sit here ingesting the entire pantry
my favourite thing in the world is pretentious FAQ pages
”Compliment” Thanks, i cant answer them all :/ :/
”Hate” Fuck Off.
Follow back? No.
Follower count? XX,XXX
Promote me? No.