if i had sex in the shower i’d probably slip and die
(Source: eqocentric, via dulect)
if a 99 pound person eats 1 pound of nachos that person is 1% nacho
(via fake-mermaid)
perk of dating me: i have no social life so we can hang out whenever it’s convenient for you
(Source: matthitarchive, via fake-mermaid)
*drops out of school like its hot*
(Source: wwworldwide, via dulect)
takethewesttraintopanicstation:
On a scale from Will Smith to Amanda Bynes how much have you changed in the past 10 years
(via fracturely)
nothing annoys me more than when i try to switch tabs and i accidentally drag that tab to make a new window
like why you gotta be like that man
(Source: jadeita, via fake-mermaid)
“i need to lose weight” i say as i sit here ingesting the entire pantry
(Source: spencewright, via fake-mermaid)
my favourite thing in the world is pretentious FAQ pages
”Compliment” Thanks, i cant answer them all :/ :/
”Hate” Fuck Off.
Follow back? No.
Follower count? XX,XXX
Promote me? No.
(via dulect)
